On the Rise of Satanic Car Design

What’s With All The Evil Faces?

On the rise of satanic car design

Late last winter, I was walking along a major thoroughfare near my home. Night had fallen, and I was headed nowhere in particular, absorbed in thought. In my abstraction, as I stared into the middle distance, a veil was lifted from my mind’s eye, and I abruptly became aware that the roads of my city were infested with pairs of glowing demonic eyes.

I am not talking about the eyes of actual demons, but I might as well be, given the diabolical appearance of automotive headlights these days. If you haven’t yet noticed what I’m talking about, just take a look around. But as one of the more flagrant examples of a demonic car, I submit the Hyundai Avante to your attention:


What the hell is going on in the high-dollar world of automotive design? Since when did cars have to resemble snarling things that want to desecrate graves and despoil children?

And it’s not just the headlights that have taken on a fiendish aspect. The grilles, when seen as mouths, underscore the malevolence. Many tail-lights reflect the trend as well, lighting up with reptilian slits reminiscent of the rape scene in Rosemary’s Baby, while quite a few hatchback models sport rear-enders that resemble devils’ horns.

I can also see the satanic aesthetic at work in car body designs. The lines and angles look to have been cribbed from some infernal geometry. For one of the more ridiculous examples, I refer you to the Chevy Spark. That car would not look out of place if used as a gargoyle on some sort of Giger-inspired satanic cathedral.

As far as I am concerned, such design choices cannot be passed off as functional, much less arbitrary. Automotive design is pretty much an applied social science, its calculations rooted in marketing psychology. Plenty of time, money, and premeditation goes into the design of a car’s exterior. Check out the PT Cruiser for a classic example of calculated psychological impact.


I looked long and hard for articles or essays on demon cars, but to no avail. Google didn’t even churn up any forum talk on the subject. Then I happened upon a piece by Dennis Hong at the humor site Cracked.com. In the last section of his article 5 Creepy Forms of Mind Control You’re Exposed to Daily, Hong makes the same basic observation I’ve just laid out: the front ends of modern cars look like faces, and not the sort you’d want to spy through your front-door peephole after a bump in the dead of night.

Hong offers two inconsistent explanations that I suppose deserve mention. First, he invokes pareidolia, that trick of synaptic light that enables us “to see human faces in everything; tortillas, clouds, cat butts, the moon, other faces, everything”. The problem is, we’re talking about a trend that is now ubiquitous in car design – a far cry beyond Grandma discovering the face of Jesus in a piece of French toast.

Hong’s other explanation is that the designers are appealing to consumer demand for such designs, because we are basically assholes, and wish to express our aggression on the road: “When we drive,” he writes, “we’re not out there to make friends … Nope, what we want to convey is toughness, speed, aggression. So we want our cars to have the face of a monster.”

Hong is putting the cart before the horse. Apparently he doesn’t understand the nature of the culture industry, where tastes are given to the public and trends pushed on it from the top down, so as to effect social and moral degradation. Many are brainwashed into thinking that all the sex and violence on TV exists because it was demanded by the people. In reality, TV gradually programmed the public into accepting such degradations as normal.

On that note, I don’t know any grown person here in Korea who would custom-design a demon car if given templates and drawing board. I’ve asked friends and neighbors if they find anything odd about the cars these days. Many have said that the designs are ugly, but what choice do they have? The only manufacturer that still makes a sane headlight, a simple round one, is Jeep. In Asia, trends are just what they are, and nobody over-analyzes things. So I don’t tell these people that their cars have demonic faces, for reasons that ought to be fairly obvious.

My young students, on the other hand, are well aware that the headlights are eyes, but being children, and not yet acquainted with evil, most of them think it’s just a trend that’s kind of cool. As they can’t yet fathom the horrors of evil, I understand this attitude.

My Theory

My theory is that we are in the Apocalypse, and this turn in the evolution of car design is but a natural expression of the satanic zeitgeist.

As you may already know, “apocalypse” means literally “revealing of things hidden”. So if this is the Apocalypse, as I claim, then what is being revealed, and who is revealing it?

Simply put, the power elite live in a parallel civilization, one that they have long kept hidden from the likes of us. Their culture is not our culture; their religion is not our religion; and their ways (I speak for most of us) are certainly not our ways. They are worshipers of Lucifer, and in exchange for their devotion, they have been given dominion over this planet. For hundreds of years, they have been plotting a complete takeover. Their plan is to rule us overtly in the end: one culture, one society, one religion, all based on satanic subversion of God’s natural order. Those of us who live under them are to be inducted into their cult.

The Apocalypse is that stage of the plan when they reveal themselves to us. Signs of this revelation are rampant in pop culture (see VigilantCitizen.com). Then there are the recent scandals in England indicating that pedophilia is an ingrained feature of bloodline society. Meanwhile, the UN is calling for the normalization of “intergenerational sex”.

I have seen a number of articles about pedophilia being “normalized” in the schools of some western countries. I have also seen reports of cannibalism being “normalized” in television shows. Bestiality is already “normalized” in certain parts of Europe. We are living in an age of rapidly accelerating “normalization” of abnormal things, and you can bet that every sick-ass abomination slated for “normalization” is a veritable sacrament to them.

The evil headlight eyes I think are a harbinger of stages to come. Talmudists are not into that sort of cheesy Halloween aesthetic, and neither are their Freemason dupes. My guess is that those behind the demon cars are industrialist members of the Church of Satan, and as long as they are useful to their Masonic and Talmudic masters, we will see more of their adolescent sensibilities invading our modernist urban blight.


“Design must fulfill dreams and desires, represent the quality of life in the 2000’s. There is a role for emotions, not just technology”

–David Lyon, Executive Director of Design, General Motors

Hmmm. What are the “dreams and desires” and the “quality of life” of our present age? Do we “dream” of ever-escalating warfare on behalf of luciferian bankers? Do we “desire” the satanic slaughter of millions of innocents in lands rich in the oil on which our vehicles feed? Does the “quality of life” to be represented by contemporary car designs include having our economies ravaged, our retirement funds pillaged, our factories exported, our service jobs outsourced, our women militarized, our children sexualized, our families atomized, our oceans clogged with crude oil, our water tables fracked, our tap water fluoridated, our food modified to sterilize us and to make us sick, our young destroyed by vaccines, our elders killed by death panels, our bodies backscattered and tasered and groped, our privacies gutted on pretense of “terror”, while the elites and their technocrats who perpetrate all these horrors jet-set above our beleaguered heads?

If so, then I would say that Mr. Lyon is certainly onto something. Satanic car designs truly do reflect their “dreams and desires”, and the “quality of life” that they envision for us.


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